tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post6877291663236758934..comments2023-04-16T17:53:40.268-04:00Comments on Cottage Days and Journeys: How Am I Doing?Donnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05347598432040432610noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-81681731076979280342015-02-09T16:36:19.629-05:002015-02-09T16:36:19.629-05:00Dear Donna, you remain in our prayers daily. I jus...Dear Donna, you remain in our prayers daily. I just don't know what to say, words of comfort are hard, especially long distance. I believe though that dear Jim knows how much you miss him, that you will always love him, and he wants the best for you.<br />How about that sweet little Angel - are we going to see more pics of her soon? <br />Be strong - <br />With love, Mary & BobMaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11915239653283205065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-64116530266741787622015-02-05T21:01:37.661-05:002015-02-05T21:01:37.661-05:00Thank you for your raw honesty. For speaking what ...Thank you for your raw honesty. For speaking what is true about loss and grief. I've been very absent while you went through this terrible journey. I tried, once or twice, to write words of encouragement, knowing there is not a lot one can really say to help, but I'll continue to keep you in my prayers and hope there is some comfort in that. Nita Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02763053063410716010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-26177764529155686562015-02-01T13:11:44.626-05:002015-02-01T13:11:44.626-05:00Just stopping in to say I'm thinking of you an...Just stopping in to say I'm thinking of you and pray God is giving you the strength to get through one day at a time ((Big Hugs))Debbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18440751066438510282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-3067762813962766262015-01-31T17:20:58.670-05:002015-01-31T17:20:58.670-05:00Thinking of you today, just like every day dear Do...Thinking of you today, just like every day dear Donna. How's that little Angel settling in? Bet you are finding her a great comfort during these hard days. Hope you share more pics soon.<br />Love, MaryMaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11915239653283205065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-73366220938596896642015-01-30T21:41:01.320-05:002015-01-30T21:41:01.320-05:00Hi Donna, I was thinking of you today, and found t...Hi Donna, I was thinking of you today, and found this post which I had missed. I am so sorry for what you are having to go through. I lost my father last May, and as sad as I have been, it is nothing compared to what my mother has had to go through...she hated being asked how she was doing, too. It is the hardest thing she has ever been through and I am sure you feel that way, too.<br />Your little Angel is precious...and I know, a sweet comfort. xoxoLinda @ Itsy Bits And Pieceshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12090973681675943970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-14060804180931280042015-01-28T11:33:56.351-05:002015-01-28T11:33:56.351-05:00I forgot to tell you....your puppy is so cute!!! ...I forgot to tell you....your puppy is so cute!!! I bet she is like an angel sent from heaven to give you comfort!! :-)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08357715182643629923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-4794051328097655782015-01-28T11:26:41.436-05:002015-01-28T11:26:41.436-05:00Hi Donna, I'm still here too though I too have...Hi Donna, I'm still here too though I too have been dealing with a death. My Dad passed two weeks ago. Please, please call me. I only live 4 hours away and only work two days a week so I can come down on my off days and have lunch or whatever...I sent you my phone number if you don't have it anymore. Also, I am a gal on my own too so if you ever want a traveling buddy I'm here because you know we both love to travel. I heard someone say grief is not a straight line....you take care and if you ever need to vent..like I said I listen well even if I have no words to say love and hugs.....Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08357715182643629923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-38120089358526700822015-01-27T09:34:03.388-05:002015-01-27T09:34:03.388-05:00I am still here. They are your feelings and you ...I am still here. They are your feelings and you deserve to feel them, that does not make it any easier though. You are paving a road that we all will face someday. And we can gain strength through your words an know what it takes to get through each day.whiteyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05697916724755191082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-52287467752694089742015-01-26T08:52:11.016-05:002015-01-26T08:52:11.016-05:00What a Sweet little Angel...and HUGE hugs to you f...What a Sweet little Angel...and HUGE hugs to you friend...<br />(((HUG)))Donnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00181520825012037531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-81762855876967620592015-01-25T22:43:02.397-05:002015-01-25T22:43:02.397-05:00Dearest Donna
Thank you for 'spilling the bea...Dearest Donna<br /><br />Thank you for 'spilling the beans' in your honest way. No one in their wildest dreams could possibly imagine things could be fine with you.<br />Losing the love of your life, the one who always knew what you were thinking, with whom you shared your innermost thoughts and ideas, love, laughter, joy and life is catastrophic.<br />It must be taking every fibre of your being to get through each day, you are coping the best and only way you can, it is a very personal journey.<br />It will happen to us all one day and I dread that day more than anything else. No one is ever prepared for such a loss.<br /><br />Hold your head high dear Donna, you did everything you could and more to make things better than they were for Mr Jim - he knew that.<br /><br />Your little angel is what you need right now - she can't fill the gap I know, but I hope that little by little her presence will help ease the pain.<br /><br />Sending my love and prayers dear Donna<br />I'm an email away if you need a shoulder to lean on.<br />Shane xox<br />Roses, Lace and Brocantehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11821168025062104166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-38325510127939277472015-01-24T17:51:15.408-05:002015-01-24T17:51:15.408-05:00and never forgotten...we are here for you dear fir...and never forgotten...we are here for you dear firnd, always remember that.The Gathering Roomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14985508160866013306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-16297150178402242892015-01-24T16:08:46.685-05:002015-01-24T16:08:46.685-05:00It's interesting to me what you say, my friend...It's interesting to me what you say, my friend. A few years ago I asked a family member how she, and her mother, and her father were doing after a monumental and cataclysmic and yes, tragic (although it did not involve a death, at least not of a human being), event in their lives. I love this person and I truly wanted to know how they were; "FINE" was the last thing I expected to hear. And yet, in answer to each of my questions, she brightly (if superficially) responded: "Fine!" And I was appalled, and it hurt me to the quick.<br /><br />And I thought how sad it is that we use the only lives we have or will ever have, engaging in meaningless (and false) small talk. I DESPISE small talk. There is nothing to me more terrible than trivializing the huge, the life-changing, the heartbreaking -- just because we are AFRAID to say what is in our hearts! And this we do, when all the while we know (or we SHOULD know) full well that it is only the truth that helps people! Oh, I believe in tact; I know it is necessary and that the employment of it is an art. I'm not very good at it, but I want to get better. Even so: when we care about folks, we do them the honor of being honest.<br /><br />All of that to say, I know you're not fine and I would never have expected you of all people to answer the question "How are you?" with that dumb (and all but meaningless, due to our abuse of it) word. But that doesn't mean I don't truly wonder, many times a day, how you're doing. I love you, I remember you, I pray for you. I am comforted that despite the things you do have to worry about, there is a great deal you don't have to worry about. <br /><br />And in the end my friend, forgive me, but -- everything will be fine. Your Jim is safe. God is always gracious and He is always good. Life is sweet, made all the sweeter for its brevity. Getting out on the road again and taking pictures will be such a treat for you. I'm glad to hear of your plans. xoxoJennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03944766018173436353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-66401682049271857792015-01-22T20:34:16.139-05:002015-01-22T20:34:16.139-05:00Donna...you need to look after yourself & tomo...Donna...you need to look after yourself & tomorrow will do the same. Shout out to any of us & we'll be glad to help you whatever you need!2dogs2luvhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01010896133866229689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-12696584340479210022015-01-22T08:27:45.888-05:002015-01-22T08:27:45.888-05:00I have thought about this post for several days no...I have thought about this post for several days now. In fact, I had a lengthy discussion with my good friend who lost her husband 3 years ago after a bout with malignant melanoma (7 weeks from diagnosis to death). I remembered overhearing her express similar thoughts about the question "how are you?" and so I decided to ask her for some help because I know that I have asked that question of grieving people and I would never choose to add any pain to someone's wound. <br /><br />But, no, I do <i>not</i> want you to lie and say that you are "fine." Of course you are not fine and anyone who would expect that has never felt grief on a personal level. I am sorry that you feel that expectation from anyone. <br /><br />I think that you are doing all the "right" things. You are allowing yourself to feel. You are being honest. You are giving yourself small, daily tasks. You are making plans for travel, because that is something that you love. You are reaching out. You have found a furry companion...and such a darling one! And yet, even all of those "right" things will not take away that deep ache of longing for a different reality. One day...one moment...at a time, you will put one foot in front of the other...<br /><br />I am sorry for this long and rambling comment (believe it or not, I could ramble some more!), but I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and in my prayers and I care very much. <br /><br />Cheryl https://www.blogger.com/profile/00063844335185525553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-9641291249527419622015-01-20T23:47:50.020-05:002015-01-20T23:47:50.020-05:00 Hugs and prayers. LenZie Hugs and prayers. LenZieThe Joy of Needlework https://www.blogger.com/profile/09626005287419658273noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-44403911045777803442015-01-19T23:37:37.534-05:002015-01-19T23:37:37.534-05:00PS... You took a wonderful picture of your little ...PS... You took a wonderful picture of your little Angel. She does look a bit sad. I think you will save each other.<br />Jeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10136566754402476915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-9964419940559925912015-01-19T23:29:08.098-05:002015-01-19T23:29:08.098-05:00Donna, right now it is all about you. That is hard...Donna, right now it is all about you. That is hard for some. No, you are not fine and will not be for whatever amount of time it takes for you to get your nose above water. I do like that you sounded off here. Good for you!Jeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10136566754402476915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-10204605255139817932015-01-19T20:21:28.609-05:002015-01-19T20:21:28.609-05:00Donna, I am so, so sorry. I can't even imagine...Donna, I am so, so sorry. I can't even imagine the grief. You are in my prayers.Cranberry Morninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10758563068581561194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-11023524657004431202015-01-19T17:02:25.231-05:002015-01-19T17:02:25.231-05:00Today is the 2nd anniversary of our daughter's...Today is the 2nd anniversary of our daughter's death (which is also the anniversary of the last time we saw her three children). Yeah, it's miserable. It's miserable even when it isn't the anniversary of the worst day of our lives. Every day since has been the worst day of our lives. So, if it is any consolation, I know how you are feeling. Don't be depressed about those people who have been in the grief group for over a year. It doesn't end. It just changes a little from time to time. Not necessarily for the better.<br /><br />However, there is the sometimes overlooked variable that is the peace that passeth all understanding - that is God's love for us and His knowledge of how crappy this life can be for us. He knows, he gets it. And He provides comfort - minute by minute if we are willing to acknowledge it. This is what I've learned. He has a wonderful life for us after this one is over, we just need to make the choice to go to bat for God and not Satan. But this life is very hard, no matter what kind of icing we try to keep on it. That can make us pull away from the one thing that will eventually give us more happiness and peace than we can now imagine.<br /><br />The puppy is adorable!! Soooo cute! I can see why you are falling in love with her. I'm happy you got her. :)<br /><br />As for those people who ask you how you are doing, well, that answer will change as time passes. For now, you can refuse to answer if you want, but remember that people don't have a clue about what to say. So many have not suffered through the loss of some of the most important people in their lives - yet.<br /><br />((((Donna)))) my dear friend. I keep you in my prayers. I'm praying for the best for you.Jackiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15635821514688061080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-39153664994394584472015-01-19T13:36:11.627-05:002015-01-19T13:36:11.627-05:00Donna, just this morning you came to my mind...I w...Donna, just this morning you came to my mind...I was even thinking about sending you an email. Of course, these folks asking you how you are doing are probably at a loss for what to say...so they ask the easiest question that comes to mind, pretty much not expecting you to say "fine". Like the others who commented, I agree whole heartedly that all of these things you are feeling are only to be expected when one has suffered a loss such as yours...that's all there is to it. Angel is just a precious little girl and I have no doubt she will bring you much companionship and comfort...those little furry creatures have a way of doing that and I have no doubt why God created them. I am glad to hear that you will be doing some traveling with your photography. Thank you checking in I will continue to pray for you.Debby Rayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02499542865677173703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-22865646784829940332015-01-19T11:40:07.345-05:002015-01-19T11:40:07.345-05:00That little Angel is exactly who you need at this ...That little Angel is exactly who you need at this time - I think she looks and sounds like the perfect match for you. . . . I can already envision you snuggling up with her 9 pounds of sweetness.<br /><br />I've said it all before - I'm glad other friends here 'get it' too - and knowing you are already making plans for the future is the best news yet!<br /><br />With love and caring as always - Mary X (and Bob X)Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11915239653283205065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-63651942457446850192015-01-19T09:16:45.307-05:002015-01-19T09:16:45.307-05:00Dear Donna, it is good to hear how you are 'fe...Dear Donna, it is good to hear how you are 'feeling'. I certainly appreciate your honesty with us and it's good to share it here. I'm so happy that you found a loving companion in Angel, and that you are signing up for some photography tours. I think that's brave of you and something to look forward to. I think of you often and say a little prayer for you each time. Love and hugs to you. Thanks for the update! PamPamela Gordonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18071092617682650349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-77867876886460150192015-01-19T09:05:54.719-05:002015-01-19T09:05:54.719-05:00No way you would be fine and I'm so glad to he...No way you would be fine and I'm so glad to hear how you truly are...which is to be expected. You are a strong woman Donna, even though right now it's extremely and miserably hard. You've come further than I would have expected. And "Angel" sounds like the perfect companion. She is adorable. That sucks about the death certificates. What the heck is wrong with them! Hopefully you will get them soon. I'm keeping you in prayer and love you ((Big Hugs))Debbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18440751066438510282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-29611487929621386122015-01-19T08:14:16.342-05:002015-01-19T08:14:16.342-05:00Had I asked you how you were doing and you said fi...Had I asked you how you were doing and you said fine I probably wouldn't have believed you anyway. Sounds like you are doing as well as can be expected. You have every right to be sad and angry and all those other things. Cancer cheats so many people! I'll add to the voices that say the wish they lived closer to you, although I don't know what I could say except to be there to hold your hand! I'm so glad you got sweet Angel. Sounds like she will be a good companion for you! And also that you are planning trips too. Not only for you to keep busy but we get to look forward to some beautiful pictures in the future. Hugs!Jeanettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04049092763428920061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7030532780217946336.post-34326125196273493202015-01-19T07:55:01.022-05:002015-01-19T07:55:01.022-05:00No lie, I was hoping you had posted something beca...No lie, I was hoping you had posted something because I so desperately wanted to know how you were doing but figured you were sick of hearing the question. And I so don't expect you to say "fine". All those things you're feeling are what I would expect you to say. You sound to me like you're doing all you can do from one day to the next. <br />I love that you got a little companion. She looks so sweet. <br />This is a hard road that you are being forced to travel. These times suck and there's no other way to say it. But you are very loved.<br />Sending BIG HUGS!!!!<br />KimKim @ Homesteader's Hearthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03787975654863452911noreply@blogger.com