The calendar shows that it is January 2015. There was no “happy” celebration of the new year. I turned the page and said to myself, “Yep, there you are. Like it or lump it.” (I do a lot of talking to myself now and expect that practice will continue.)
I’ve been living in an alternate universe for quite a while. I have long since forgotten what it is like to have a normal life. I occupied cancer world for over a year and a half. It was a marathon. Now I am trapped in the obstacle maze of widowhood, finding my way in a new, solitary life.
How am I doing? About as well as expected. Quite simply, it sucks. If you are a widow, you understand. If you are not, you don’t understand.
There is a monumental amount of work ahead for me. Widow duties are complicated enough, but more so these days because of digital footprints. I started developing my widow checklists back in March 2014, knowing full well that Jim was going to die. I didn’t know exactly when it would happen, but I was determined to be prepared. I was able to glean a lot of information from sweet Sandra of Thistle Cove Farm, and I quickly adopted a notebook approach. The checklists and my notes provide structure. Daily task lists are providing me some measure of sanity. I get great satisfaction from marking through the lists.
Thanks to disciplined fiscal management, practiced over decades, I am a widow who should not face any financial issues for the rest of my life. I am grateful for that silver lining. The major issue that I face is a local support network that is very meager. I am going to have to work extra hard to find more friends and establish social outlets.
Blogging will probably be a low priority this year so that I have time to find my way. And, my photo challenge blog will be put on mothballs for the entire year. I know that my true blogging friends will be cool with all of that.
Speaking of blogging friends, I am very grateful for the continued support that you have given me via post comments, e-mails, and cards. God bless you for your love! And, be sure to check out a recent tribute post that dear Jenny (I’m Having a Thought Here) wrote about Jim.
That's all for now, folks.