Photography Print Competition Results

I thoroughly enjoyed the first Great Smoky Mountains Photography Summit last year and made many dear friends. So it wasn’t a difficult choice to go again this year. It is held in nearby Townsend, Tennessee. The summit gathers together some of the best nature and wildlife photographers and instructors in the country. There are five days of shooting, instruction, critique, camaraderie, and a print competition.

Due to travel time constraints, I didn’t enter the print competition last year. This year I entered all six categories: macro; mobile photography; black and white; Great Smoky Mountains National Park; landscapes, seascapes, and cityscapes; flora and fauna. Below were my choices for 16” x 20” prints.

Photo of the Week - Buck Canyon Overlook

Canyonlands National Park, Utah

Western landscapes like this are grand, compelling, and mesmerizing. I stood on the edge of many cliffs, marveling at the layers of colors and textures that stretched out for miles. I felt small within the vastness. But grateful. Very, very grateful.

I had some physical difficulties in this last trip. Also, the solitude of my everyday life is quite evident when surrounded by others who are still fortunate enough to have loved ones who bring them joy. (Do they truly know how lucky they are?) But I was brave, once again, to travel without a companion and rose to meet the challenges.

Spring weather has declared its cheerful arrival in east Tennessee. It is really looking beautiful! Daffodils are proclaiming their glory. Redbud and bradford pear trees are blooming. My inside and outside chore lists have grown ever since I got back from my Utah journey. There is little time available right now for editing photos. I expect to have some spare time for that activity during the hot summer months, when I am caught up with household projects and will be seeking air-conditioned comfort.

I know that I don’t post often anymore. And I’m sorry that I don’t visit my blogging buddies very much. I simply do not have the time or energy to devote to social media. I have a real life to live first. Thus, a virtual life gets the short straw. I hope you understand.

Photo of the Week - Fall Sunset at the Cove

Cades Cove, Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Tennessee

During the photography summit last October, a newfound friend and I went out to the Cove with our camera gear. We were in search of black bears, known to snack on acorns at a particular spot. Unfortunately, we didn’t spot any bears. (I have yet to ever witness a single bear in the Smokies, by the way.) But we did witness a spectacular sunset. It lit up the sky and our hearts!

Please keep me in your prayers. I experienced a vitreous detachment in my right eye yesterday. I had a similar experience in my left eye a couple of years ago. Big black threads are floating in my vision, and I see flashes of light. A specialist quickly evaluated me, and he confirmed that the retina looks okay. Let's hope that it doesn't progress any further and that I can adjust to seeing large floaters, now in both eyes. 

It's no fun getting old. And it is certainly more complicated when you live a solo life.

Photo of the Week - Road to the Mountains

Grand Teton National Park, Wyoming

Leading lines always give a little zippy interest to a composition, and this road draws a viewer right into the scene. Even on a overcast and rainy day, aren’t those mountains incredible? (Click on the image to see bigger, please.)

I am doing fine but very busy as the moment. Many activities at the church have kept me hopping, along with all of the usual household chores that need attention. My left eye has healed up well from the surgery (to correct double vision), and I don’t have to go back to the doctor until the first week in November.

Please continue to keep me in your prayers as I rebuild my life and establish an improved support network. Dependable and caring local friends are my biggest need. Thankfully, a few people have stepped into my life the past couple of months. But many people have decided not to include me anymore in their everyday lives. I would love to have a friend like me, so I consider it their loss. Angel, my little dog, brings me comfort and joy on a daily basis. And I look for moments of God's grace to sustain me.

Changing Vision

As most of my faithful blogging friends know, I thoroughly enjoy wildlife photography. The recent Nashville workshop featured Americana subject matter, so wildlife was in extremely short supply. An unfriendly, resident cat at Cannonsburgh Village in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, was the only critter spotted during that week. I snuck up on him while napping and quickly got off a few shots before he fled the scene.

I had muscle surgery last Friday on my left eye. That makes four eye surgeries in two years. Sigh. I have been seeing significant double vision for well over a year now. The imbalance occurred when I developed a prolapsed lacrimal gland in my right eye, and swelling from surgical correction worsened the degree of strabismus.

Need Help to Cut the Cord

One of the big frustrations for a new widow is straightening out various utility services and service contracts. And it seems like these companies today make things extra difficult or choose to treat customers with dishonesty. Two that have given me the most grief are Verizon and Comcast. I believe there is a special place in hell for the executives that run cellular and cable television companies, not just from these two examples. So please don’t advise me to change to XYZ company. They are all terrible in their own unique way.

It took me months of effort to get Verizon straightened out, but they are now behaving nicely. My problems with them started when I cancelled my husband’s cell phone back in late January (basic phone, no contract). By mistake, they disconnected my cell phone.  Three times! To add insult to injury, they kept charging me cancellation and reactivation fees for each erroneous event. I expended a lot of tears and countless hours to get them to fix the messes of their own creation. But I eventually got them to stop all of the nonsense and erase all of the fees.

Trying to Shine in a Dark World

Antique Archaeology, Nashville, Tennessee

I continue to struggle in my solitary, dark world. Some days I do well. Other days I sink. As an introvert, it takes a lot of bravery to venture out and do things like traveling and attending photography workshops and tours. And once I get to my destinations, I feel out of place and have difficulty connecting with others. There is not much common ground except for photography.

By the second day at the recent Nashville trip, I was wondering in my hotel room at night why in the world I was there. There were a few moments of grace later on that provided the answer, including special counsel by Ricky Skaggs, a man who truly walks in the light. Since I feel pretty much shunned in my everyday life now, I am surprised when somebody actually notices and acknowledges my presence.

Skidding into the Year's Second Half

Fallen Rock Park, Brazil, Indiana

Yes, I’m still puttering around. I’m just not spending much time puttering around on blogs. Building a new life continues to take priority.

I went to Indiana for a few days and got back last Sunday. I stayed with my sweet sister-in-law (separated from my oldest brother), and we had a wonderful time. We talked a lot. We laughed a lot. And once we laughed so hard that we were in tears. We had fun! She has been very supportive during my troubling times. I just wished she lived closer. We could get into so much trouble together! I briefly met up with three of my brothers during the visit too. They were reserved but cordial. My family never has gotten the knack about how to be affectionate and compassionate, but that is a whole other story.

Attempting to Make Some Headway

It always seems like I am taking one step forward and two steps backwards. A solo life keeps me extremely busy. All of the household tasks are my complete responsibility. If I slack off, there is nobody else to rely upon. Nobody. I am trying to rebuild a life at the age of 62 (soon to be 63). It takes effort. It takes time. And I struggled mightily, physically and emotionally, to take care of myself for two months with a broken right foot.

Needless to say, blogging time remains limited. I am wrestling with real life. I recently joined a new church. I'm doing some volunteer work. And, you know that I have been venturing out for a couple of photography trips, despite physical limitations. After 33 years of being half of a couple, I am learning to lead a singular life. I’m not happy about it. But I’m doing it. What other choice do I have? None, zip, nada.

Boots On

Pardon the quality of this cell phone image. Please focus on the subject matter instead. Do you notice anything different? I took this after I walked a lap with Angel around the villa circle in front of my cottage. Yes, I walked. With hiking boots on!

Just following the doctor’s orders! I got a good report from this morning’s visit. The x-rays show significant healing of the stress fracture in my right foot. I still need to wear the orthopedic boot to promote further recovery, but I can now start wearing regular shoes for short stretches of time. To prepare for my upcoming Wyoming trip, she recommended that I walk a quarter a mile a day and work up to a mile in the next couple of weeks. Hiking boots are the footwear of choice for this exercise.

If I have any pain by the time I leave on my trip, she said to take the orthopedic boot and wear it whenever I can. And, I should use the airport wheelchair services with absolutely no guilt. She also said to have a great time and take some pretty pictures for her to see later. I go back for another follow-up in about five weeks.

Hooray! I’m sure that the prayers and calcium pills paid off big time!

Lots of Chores

Great Smoky Mountains National Park, North Carolina

The above image is the one that made the Smokies workshop instructor say that he was going to break his foot too. Funny guy! I’m pretty critical of my work, but this photo did turn out very nice. Nobody would ever guess that directly below the frame is a road. No hiking was involved! I only had to mosey a couple dozen feet from the parked car, set up my tripod and camera, compose, and snap. Of course, digital editing always helps to bring out the details and contrast too.

It’s been almost two years since my life began to spin out totally out of control, and Jim’s been gone now for over four months. It seems like there is an endless amount of chores that I need to accomplish. I use spiral steno notebooks to maintain daily task lists. It’s been immensely helpful! Very little productive work got done around the house during Jim’s illness. Caregiving and ferrying him back and forth to medical appointments and the hospital took up every bit of my time. So I am faced with a huge backlog of projects, in addition to routine household chores and maintenance. With a solo life and a bum foot, I am slowed down further in trying to dig out of the proverbial hole.

A (Cautionary) Green Light

When I visited the orthopedic doctor last week, she gave me a cautionary green light to go on the planned photography workshop this week at the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. I will need to sit and rest a spell whenever I feel foot pain. I am taking the huge orthopedic boot but will not be wearing it when the workshop group is shooting. I will either wear a hiking boot on my broken foot or else a post-op shoe. (I use the post-op shoe for driving.) A cane and hiking stick will also be at my disposal. I may not take very many images, but I will learn, participate fully in the classroom portions of the training, and get some of my portfolio critiqued. Most of all, I will have fellowship with other participants. The workshop’s pro photographer is okay with my approach and says that he will take good care of me.

From Bad to Worse

My fears were not misplaced. I have a stress fracture in my right foot. Undoubtedly, the condition is the direct result of countless hours on my feet, providing caregiving service during Jim’s final months. It’s time to pay another price for the cancer that took his life.

I’ve been ordered stay off my feet as much as possible and wear an orthotic boot for many weeks until the bone heals. And I’m told that I cannot use anti-inflammatory arthritis medicine for the duration. The boot is huge and looks like galactic war apparel for a 7-foot storm trooper. And due to its design, I am having difficulty walking with it strapped on. Forget about driving with it. I am only capable of safely driving with a regular shoe on, so driving will have to be restricted. I plan to use a walker to help get around the house.

A Whole Lot of Pointless Nothing

Scoot along if you want to be entertained and go read another blog. My widow’s life continues. So entertainment can’t be found here unless you have a vicarious streak. The title to this post should be a big clue!

Confession: I’m not inspired to blog. I’m not inspired to do much of anything, quite frankly. Life – taken as a whole - is no longer joyful. It seems rather pointless now that Jim is gone. The three-month anniversary of his death will arrive next week. Holidays, such as Easter next month, are no longer celebrated. They are merely another day on the calendar and spent alone. I manage to drag myself out of bed each morning and attempt to participate in life.  Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes not. I know that I have a lot of blessings, and I count them. But despair has a firm on my heart, regardless. I miss Jim terribly.

The Dance...

After enjoying temperatures yesterday in the mid-60s, gloomy weather has settled into east Tennessee. Cold rain is turning into sleet. The ground is covered with ice pellets. Before the storm system moves out of here, the precipitation will turn into snow.

Meanwhile, the external hard drive that I use for my iMac’s Time Machine backups decided to croak this morning. Coughed, sputtered, quit. Given the current road conditions, I can’t safely drive down to the local Best Buy and purchase another one today. Perhaps I can tomorrow. Ah, modern day problems!

In the dance of life, I can relate to the second paper crane from the left. How about you?

Good Riddance to February

Of all of the months of the year, I have never been fond of February. The most dreadful winter weather occurs then, and it was especially spiteful this year. I honestly have lost track of how many ice and snowstorms came through east Tennessee in the past two weeks. I know that I shoveled more snow during that short period than the past five years. Thankfully, two neighborhood kids showed up for the last snow event and cleared my driveway and walk for some pocket change. I provided hot chocolate as refreshment and an additional reward after their job was done. And the electric power stayed on, so Angel and I were safe and warm. Thank you, God!

My blogging activities continue to be minimal. Grief and despair have a firm grip on my heart. Who in the world wants to read about all of that? And reading everybody’s happy-go-lucky posts about their contented, normal lives only provides a dramatic comparison of how mine is not. The two-month anniversary of Jim’s death was last week. I spent the day alone, like most days, and I cried a lot. Welcome to my depressing world.

I don’t blame you if you click out now and go visiting a blog that talks about a fun shopping adventure, cheerful family event, or new recipe. Go ahead and scoot if you are looking for amusement. No worries or hard feelings.

Tennessee Ice

Several of my blogging buddies have been checking on me via e-mail and asking whether the power has stayed on at my house.  Thankfully, yes!  I had a neighbor call me Thursday night, so it was nice that somebody locally touched base with me about my welfare too.

Road conditions improved enough so that I could finally get out of the house mid-day yesterday.  I dropped Angel off for a bath and nail trim at the dog groomer, while I went and got a much-needed haircut.  It was the first time that I had ventured out since Monday morning.

Praying the Power Stays On

February ice storm

A winter storm only underscores my solitary existence. East Tennessee got treated to an ice storm yesterday, followed by some snow. The photos featured here were taken then. Cold temperatures continue today, along with snow flurries and winds. I’m praying that the power stays on. I have no backup heat sources (e.g., fireplace). I’ve already researched where the nearest emergency shelter is located, just in case I have to head that way. I did a web search to figure out how to manually open the garage door. I have food, water, and spare batteries for flashlights, but this girl and her pooch need heat in the house. I’m hoping that it doesn’t come to all of that.

Chilling with Angel and Texting with Donna

I continue to be very busy with household tasks and work associated with the estate. There are times when I wonder if I am every going to catch up. It is rare event when I sit down mid-day in my recliner. But I was able to get my feet up for a rest yesterday afternoon while I was on a donors' conference call with St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. And, any time that I am in the recliner, Angel makes sure that she snuggles up.

This iPhone photo is terribly blurry, and it was taken in a dark room. But perhaps you will overlook its technical deficiencies and consider the merits of the subject matter. Isn’t she cute? Her little snaggletooth shows on the right-hand side of her little mouth. Yes, we happened to color-match our clothes, as luck would have it.

Tending to the Business of Death

I’m sorry if I have not responded to all of your e-mails or comments. It has been overwhelming at times. Frequently, I don’t know what to say back. I’m miserable. I’m grieving. You don’t want to hear that. It should be rather obvious. I have been beautifully touched by the eloquence of some who have offered consolation. I can tell that others do not know what to say because they are uncomfortable about the whole subject matter. (That’s okay. Eloquence routinely escapes me too.) I am very thankful for every single card, e-mail, comment, or phone call that I received. And it gives me joy to know that many of you are praying for me on a regular basis.

I’ve had some folks tell me that I will get over it. Sigh. I respond to such folly with silence because I am polite. I’m sure that they mean well. But they have no clue what they are talking about and the reassurances are empty. I will never, ever “get over” the countless horrors that I experienced during Jim’s long illness with pancreatic cancer, nor will I “get over” his death. He suffered. I suffered. Now I face the rest of my life alone. If I die tomorrow, I will die alone. And, it may take a while before somebody notices. I’m confident that the mail lady will suspect that something is amiss before anybody else.

Get over it? Please don’t say ever something like that to a widow or widower. Please. Okay, I’m off my soapbox now…